Dear bloggy blog blog,
This morning I woke up feeling NEGGY. Yep, negativo, shit, crap, just not good. My nose was stuffy, my brain was foggy and I wasn’t even hungover!!! ERGH, at least let me of had a good night out to accompany the pain…
It took about half an hour to get out of bed and force myself into the shower, where the hot water had stopped and my pity tears were the warmest thing. Just kiddin’ I didn’t actually cry… maybe a little tear was shed… What I’m trying to say is that this morning got off to a bad start. No reason for it, but you know that feeling of waking up more tired than before you fell asleep? Yeah, that. I wrapped myself up in my already damp, 2 week unwashed towel and pretty much threw myself back onto my bed. It was gym time, but honestly, I couldn’t imagine anything worse. Whenever I have a bad nights sleep, my skin dries up, that ‘sleep deprived’ pimple pops out (ignore the poor pun) and my under eye bags are so dark not even MAC pro longwear could help me out.
I decided from the depths of my drama queen brain that I wasn’t going to go work out. SHOCK. HORROR. For most, NOT gymming is an easy and preferable option, but for me it’s like brushing my teeth and something that my whole day revolves around. And I’ve realised that’s actually not normal… I do actually have a social life, degree, friends and family that I want to focus on as well. SO, whilst wrapping myself back up in my duvet, I started thinking about changing my perception on things. I had a pretty bad workout yesterday, and instead of feeling guilty about it, I told myself it was a rest day where I chose to do some squats – even if they were diabolically shocking. Just telling myself it was a rest day changed my mindset completely. I was actually going the extra mile by doing some awful squatting on a rest day?! Even today, I took the day off again and told myself it was a day to clean my room, clean the kitchen, phone my mum, re write my CV and apply for some jobs. It was weird how much more I felt at ease, like wtf this was me telling my brain to do something??
I feel like this can apply even outside of the gym. It’s kind of like the idea of when you fail at something, it actually pushes you to work harder. So instead of seeing it as a negative, you change it to a positive source of motivation. That’s what I mean by a ‘change of perception’. This week I also got rejected from around a sales assistant job after having my CV ‘reviewed’. Normally, I would sit and wait for myself to slowly sink into my overdraft in despair about how I’ll be unemployed with no toaster and 11 cross eyed cats – but I won’t even know they’re cross eyed because I can’t afford glasses!!! See.. I’m a bit overdramatic… Instead I’m just going to look back over my CV, take some time out and rewrite it properly till I’m Lordess Anna Sugar – I know it’s Dame, but I think Lordess is nicer.
Going back to this idea of the gym – yep, fitness is a huge part of my life. But, I’ve realised it’s not just about being on top of physical health, but also mentally. AND, IT WAS THE BEST THING. I literally did all the chores I needed to do in two hours, baked myself a massive protein cookie and made some homemade chicken bites?!?! It’s the first time in ages my day hasn’t been dictated by whether I need to wash my hair post gym, if I should do cardio despite walking there or if I should slather concealer on my baby pimple to avoid scaring other gym goers. Nope, in true ugly gal style I whacked on a sudocrem face mask, washed my hair and shaved ma pins. Now, I’m sat watching X factor with my flatmates enjoying my home made chicken snacks and jelly.
I feel like we can all get so caught up on particular things in life that we dismiss everything else. Whether it’s a job, the gym, your degree, a hobby etc. You can end up pushing away some things / people that really matter. Although working out gives my mind and body a lil bit of a release, I don’t want to lose out on everything else. Changing my perception on things and actually just relaxing a little is something I’ve only really just realised, yet so simple to understand. Without sounding like some stupid cliche, you really do only have one life.
SO YAH, I’m basically admitting to not being that amazing at balance, but even this blog post is an improvement in my mind. Three cheers for bums, booze, besties, barbells, biscuits and balance. ALL OF IT. May not of ‘burnt calories’ today, or ‘squat till I dropped’, but I can do that tomorrow can’t I?
Lotsa love, Ansy pansy Anna spanna xox