This is a post I’ve felt like i’ve been putting off and off and then I woke up today with this almost epiphany feeling and thought DAYM girl just write it down. So here I am, just writing it down because I feel like sometimes nothing’s better than placing thoughts into words. I used to blog all the time about my thoughts and stresses, but over the last few months I just felt like I got shy and anxious, almost avoiding it out of fear.
Same kind of thing goes for my Instagram, a place I would use to express my feels on fitness, health and my love for food. I think I got trapped in this idea that I didn’t really fit into any ‘category’ of fitness and as a result ended up shying away from what I love doing. Which is basically chatting rubbish about fitness, food, mental health and just life in general. I don’t know why I woke up this morning feeling different, but I feel like I’ve got this fresh breath of air back, lol cringe. But, it’s almost like I’ve realised that really cliche thing of ‘being who you are’ and not trying to be something you’re not.
Looking back through my own blog posts I found one that meant so much to me at the time, all about my ‘Year of change’, and how I wasn’t obsessed with giving out this seductive image online, and i feel so frustrated because I feel like I almost let my mind slide from that girl. But nada no, that gal is coming right on back. Aloha chica how u doing?
I feel like I’m almost starting a new chapter, but at the same time going back to where I started my fitnessy journey, just loving the process and enjoying life at the same time. Wanting to smash fitness goals and make lovely luscious food. I want to start talking more about building up mental strength, as well as physical. Building up confidence, as well as cream cheese bagels. I love protein shakes and oats, but I also really really love vodka and orange juice (arrest me) I love exercise, but I love reading and having really really weirdly deep conversations about the most random things. I’ve just come to realise that I’d never find full satisfaction out of having a six pack and being ‘summer ready all year’. I’ve been in the best shape for me and still not felt fulfilled, it’s materialistic stuff. Things that actually fulfil me are of being happy and content – being with my friends, my family, my dogs, travelling and taking pictures of plants. Genuinely love a good plant shot x
This was a little bit of a ramble (as per usual) but I just felt a strong need to write it all down. You’ll probably read this and think ‘FFS woman just do what you want to do’, but even me who preaches the falseness of social media, has to admit I’ve been a little fake and not myself at times. I was actually really inspired to write this after watching Melanie Murphy’s video about her ‘journey’ from orthorexic to weight lifter, where she spoke about leaving behind all the unhealthy mind habits that we sometimes develop and don’t even realise, and finding a new form of release through weightlifting. Where it was no longer about being teeny tiny, but about loving the endorphins and getting stronger. I won’t lie, I feel like over the last few months I lost a bit of this, and was focusing so much on looking a certain way that I forgot just how much I love just going to the gym. Just being there. It was the first time I’d felt really free of anxious thoughts and had a bit of mental peace, but getting all caught up in stuff almost brought these niggling thoughts back.
SO, here’s 3 cheers to me being a deep cringeful person. I’ve changed up my blog a bit and done a little ‘new chapter’ fixxy up. Feelin’ fresh n funky. I also want to talk about a lot of things I’ve learnt and seen in the fitnessy realm of life, especially over social media. This gal has some things to express (sponsorships,brands etc) Whether it’s mental health, fashion, beauty, my thoughts on foodie trends.
I’m also not sure how many more booty poses this girl an pull out the bag, but we’ll see. I call myself a blogger, but really I just love to chat absolute rubbish hehe. This has actually been so good to write I can’t even explain to ya.
If you did read all of this, that’s an achievement in itself. I probably wouldn’t of…
Lol, lots of love forever and a day,